Thursday, March 6, 2014

Cockney's VS Zombies - Movie Review

As Outpost Season Two nears its explosive season finale, all of us at Finnean Nilsen Projects have been working overtime to ensure the season is unveiled flawlessly. Couple that with interviews for Terror4Fun, DrunkenZombie, Historical Tapestry and Historical Fiction Obsessed (some being released in the near future - we'll update links as they arrive) and we've been working our gifted little fingers to the bone trying to keep the world in blissful zombie awesomeness.
But every once in a while you have to neglect to tell your friends and family that you have a night off, put the kids to bed early, pour yourself a ridiculously generous adult beverage, and catch a flick. Which leads me to:
Let's be realistic, here. With a name like this there were only ever two possibilities:
1. It was going to suck more balls than a pitching machine, or:
2. It was going to renew my faith in humanity, specifically its ability to make a halfway decent movie (as Hollywood is currently incapable of doing). 
First of all (and this has almost no bearing on the plot of the film) I'm pretty sure Michelle Ryan is my soul mate. When she came on the screen I had to run and get a fire extinguisher to ensure my TV didn't melt. In HD she was almost too much, and I thought my eyes might start bleeding. I'm sorry, Billie Piper, but you are no longer the sole temptation for me to rescind my American citizenship and return to the Old Country. Michelle, if you're reading this, call me. No, scratch that: Marry me. I'm a good cook, I'm (mostly) monogamous and I even tied my own shoes last week (my mother was very proud).
As far as the movie goes (just look at her! She's like an angel, dressed in black leather, hanging off of a trolley car, shooting zombies...) its nearly non-stop profanity, extreme violence and gore, and almost unintelligible dialogue has moved this into one of my all-time favorite British films. But the most important thing I look for in any zombie movie is, does it do anything unique? 
That's where Cockneys VS Zombies actually, amazingly and shockingly for the title and premise, succeeds. There's two or three really original ideas, many of them almost treated as throwaway scenes but they make the movie. Alan Ford plays himself in yet another role, and once again he's perfect for the part. Harry Treadaway and Rasmus Hardiker have good chemistry as the brother team trying to keep everyone alive and in the money, Ashley Thomas provides probably the best scene in the entire movie, Georgia King is the cutest thing in her flowered blouse you'll ever see tied to a pole, and if you don't think you could ever be turned on by an 89 year old woman, wait til you see Honor Blackman sporting an AK and mowing down the undead.
All in all, this is a movie I'll be watching again. And did I mention Michelle Ryan wearing leather (seriously, I'm on my knees right now singing Marry Me from Train...)?

Friday, January 24, 2014

Outpost Season Two

Coming January 30th...

Byron Sutherland didn’t want to fucking die.
He knew this instinctively, without the necessity of it being taught.
Byron wasn’t a bad guy, his only real problem was he didn’t like prison. Well, his first problem had been that he didn’t like jail. So, when he found himself there for the first time, he left. 
It was only logical; he told the judge when they found him. This was America, in America if you ended up in a place you didn’t like, you found a way out. The judge said he didn’t see it that way. He said what Byron really needed was two years in prison, to give him some perspective on how America was a nation of laws; and that if you didn’t respect those laws, you couldn’t plan on them respecting you back.
Byron thought about trying to adjust to prison, but it just wouldn’t take. So, he left that, too. 
It was a mistake, he had sworn when they dragged him back in front of the judge.  He had never heard of this Byron Sutherland guy. His name was Tom Raskin and he was a real estate developer who did not like being treated like a criminal. And, if they wouldn’t drop the charges, his lawyer was already drafting the lawsuit. 
But they didn’t buy it. They knew it was him. By some marvel of modern investigation, they had no doubt at all.
Ten years, Maximum Security.
That really put a fucking cramp on him for the four and a half months until he crawled his way out of that hell hole. Made it six months on stolen identification and scams that paid cash. Until some douche bag cop decided to flash his blues just because Byron had been coked out of his mind for a week and half and couldn’t remember what side of the road he was supposed to drive on – “Is it their right or my right?”
It was a misunderstanding, he explained when they finally spiked his tires.  He was fully planning on sobering up once he got where he was going. Even though he had no idea how to get there. But he wasn’t worried: He figured he’d know Tijuana when he saw it. 
But they wouldn’t listen. The three county high speed chase had royally pissed them off.  And if that hadn’t done it, the State Police car that had crashed into a pole and exploded into flames—killing both troopers inside—had made them completely unreasonable.
They didn’t even offer him a plea this time, which he thought was probably unconstitutional. Instead, in under an hour he was found guilty, given life, and stuck on a bus heading for D-Block, Brennick Maximum Security Prison.
Byron jumped back as another zombie threw itself at the bars to his cell. Gnashing its teeth. Trying to get through the thick steel and at Byron and his cellmate. Trying to get to food.

Behind him, his cellmate, Vince Stone, said, “Buddy, if you’ve got another break out in you, now would be the time.”

Monday, January 6, 2014

Greetings!

From Finnean Nilsen Projects! We're very proud to announce that shooting finished on Outpost Season Two today! So, we're doing what we do best: Getting fucking hammered.
But, tomorrow we'll wake up slightly reduced versions of ourselves, and get to work on the final leg of a journey that is long, sordid and somewhat interesting. A little overview of how this process happened, where it goes from here, and then... I forgot what, but I'm sure it was brilliant...
Outpost Season Two took three months to write originally. At a certain point, it became obvious to us that it was not the right way to go with either the series, or the season. We halted production completely. Spent no less than six months rewriting it in its entirety. And have finally finished the season the way it should be.
But that doesn't mean the original is lost to the ages. When Season Two has been fully released, we will be releasing the Season Two Box Set - which will include the entire first draft!
It will also include tons of special content - as usual.
Now, to where it goes from here:
Season Two has been passed to our incredible editing staff, where it is currently being polished into a gem like the world has never seen before (since our last book came back, anyway). Covers will need to be made for each of the eight individual episodes. And then another for the Box Set. The books have to be type set. They'll be copy edited. And finally, every Thursday beginning January 30th will see a new, original episode of Outpost Season Two...
We'll keep you updated as each new cover is designed and each episode is released. Until then, we're drinking our asses off tonight, because we don't foresee a hell of a lot of sleeping in the future!
- The Brothers Finn

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Camp 417: Where the Dead Live

Be honest: Is that not the greatest title/subtitle combo you've ever heard? I'm being modest here: it fucking rocks. "Where the what live? The dead... Live? That doesn't make any sense!"
Exactly!
It's brilliant in every conceivable way and I take full credit for it. But, there's more to this awesome story then just the awesome story itself (which is, if you didn't catch it, awesome):
Every end has a beginning: 
Austria, 1945... 
Every legend, its source: 
Cut off, surrounded and alone, twenty men must turn the tide... 
Evil is alive: 
And the feeding has begun... 
Camp 417: 
Where the Dead Live

That noise you just heard was your mind exploding like the birth of a universe. But, as mentioned, there's a great story behind it: Namely, how it came to be released as a paperback, hardcover, and interactive ebook experience. And it goes a little something like this (you should imagine me doing a very feminine voice there and then the screen washes to a flashback):

FLASHBACK:
Some time ago, as a young, dashing brotherly duo (I was young, my brother has always been old and decrepit. Always) we found a website that was very clearly set up to be the most revolutionary thing to hit the publishing world since the hieroglyph. It billed itself as a "sort of American Idol for writers" but it wasn't (isn't - this is modern me talking now, it wasn't and still isn't, it's much better than that). Instead, it's actually a community where writers can collaborate, read, rate and eventually publish their books (modern me again, at the time you couldn't eventually publish your books there, it's just now... I'll just tell the story). And it wasn't (isn't) a standard vote for or against set up like American Idol. Say you come across one of our books (and you're likely to), you don't vote no on ours and yes on another. You don't text the vote in and you certainly don't make your children give you their facebook log in information so you can use their account to vote for Ruben Studdard five more times (sorry Ma!). No. You rate it on a scale, anonymously, without knowing it is in fact our book you're reading.
Pretty cool, right?
That's what the incredibly sexy younger (but not by much) me and my (older and less attractive) brother thought. And we were (are) right (terminally) because it's a pretty sexy beast. There are also several layers to it: There's the voting, monthly challenges, projects where you can read and review and critique, groups where you can hang with friends, forums where you can discuss topics and get into drunken brawls, ect.
All in all it's just a great place to be. And now we come back to....

PRESENT:
And get your book noticed, published and hopefully sell a bundle.  And that leads me to another cool part of the story, illustrated here:
WEbook - the name of the aforementioned fantastic place - has published Camp 417, the Prequeal to Outpost Season One. Now, I don't want to make it seem like, because of my flashback, that it takes years and years for this all to happen. No. We've been putting books out for the better part of two and a half years. And we've been members of WEbook for that entire time. So, when they began actively seeking to change the game up by releasing members titles (the best of them) it was a natural partnership for us.
And we're a hell of a lot more active over there than we are here. So, check us out, join the revolution and find something great to read.
Furthermore, there are a lot of fun, interesting a groundbreaking features to Camp 417 - it's not just how it was published. Camp 417 (which is awesome) also features groundbreaking ebook button technology which the picture below:
does not do justice to. These buttons are throughout the ebook, at select locations where you may choose a place you would like to visit. These include any of the seven amazing episodes that make up the explosive, blockbuster Camp 417. Plus! Deleted Scenes, Creator Commentary, the first episode of Outpost Season One (free!), a never before released Brothers Finn short story, Gottleib's Journal, and more!
It's its very own sexy, sexy beast. When I look at it it makes me wonder if I like ebooks as much as I do women. Maybe not as much... I mean, I do sleep with the ebook occasionally, but only because I fall asleep with it in my hands.
Okay, stop looking at it, you're starting to scare the children!
Sorry. 
So check it out. It's well worth the necessary donation to the Brothers Finn Alcohol Abuse Fund, or as my accountant likes to call it: Our "Business Account" - whatever the hell that means...


Holy FinNilPro.com, Batman!

This goes to the whole, we've been doing things but not talking about them thing:
FinNilPro.com
Not only is it a Finnean Nilsen Project - read: It Kicks Ass - but it also kicks ass. You can see the trailer for Outpost Season One, some tidbits and a teaser for Camp 417 (which did indeed get written and released - more on that in the next post) and more. And even though it went live like eight months ago, consider it a personal Christmas gift to you...

Welcome Back!

It's been...
Shit, has it been years?
Okay, so, have you ever told a friend you'd call them back and forgotten about it? But you don't want to call a week later and admit to being such a dick. So you just kind of put it off, and the longer you put it off the more of an asshole you look like when you don't call? And then seventy years later, on your death bed, the most important thing you wish you had done was just call the bastard back and apologized? But then you think, "Fuck him, he could have called too!" and die angry.
Well, that's basically what happened with us and our blog. Except for we're not on our death beds and blogger.com couldn't really have called (although a Christmas card would have been nice) and really that analogy makes little to no sense, but...
Where was I?
Right. We're back. And we're not going anywhere this time. We'll be posting events as they unfold, and if they do not actually unfold, we'll simply make them up. So watch this space for updates.

P.S. Like, we'll call you right back...

Monday, December 10, 2012

Merry Christmas from Finnean Nilsen Projects

The Brothers Finn would like to let you know that everyone at Finnean Nilsen Porjects is working hard this Christmas Season, and hope to bring you the Outpost Pilot Episode free soon on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Store.  Until then, you can download it free here.  Also, we'll be starting the new year in a big way, with the Outpost Season One Prequel: Camp 417 (which is, to put it modestly, the greatest thing to happen to the zombie genre since our last book) going live the first Thursday in January.
We'll pop back and fill you in soon, but remember: when all the holiday shit has you down, when the kids are fighting and your in-laws' fat asses are crowding your couch, and you're finally considering the easy way out, sit back and reflect on this timeless truth:
There are some people in this world who don't have any alcohol at all...