This annoys the shit out of me. It's a story about Jersey Shore being awarded a shit load of tax payer money to shoot their stupid, mind numbing show. Now, listen, I have absolutely no problem with people being drunk and stupid, if I did the guy in the mirror and I would be constantly at war. What I have a problem with is people who have no business being famous from the get-go.
"The Situation" is a seriously over-blown situation in-and-of-himself. First off, what the fuck is wrong with his chest? Apparently, there's something constantly on fire right there, because he can't ever have a shirt covering it. Every single shot has him holding the clothing away from him. I'm not exactly sure who told him to take his shirt off, I just know that the invisible person seems to be everywhere he is, since I can't find a single shot of him without him grinning like he has down syndrome with his shirt hiked up like anyone gives half a fuck who the hell he is, or what he has under his wife beater (and in his case, yes, it is a wife beater. I lived in Jersey long enough, and knew enough Italians to say - Mike Mr Situation will smack the shit out of his women, because he doesn't have the manly organs to keep them without violence).
But that's beside the point.
Who the hell is Snooki? And why do I know who she is?
Furthermore, who the fuck is Kim Kardashian, and why in the name of the sweet little innocent baby Jesus should I give one shit in twenty million who, how, or what she's fucking?
These are not real people, they're caricatures of people. They're manikins. They exist solely for our sick, twisted fascination with them. They are not real, like the Barbie Doll is not real. They fornicate like people, they marry like people, they even walk and talk like human beings, but they are not people. They are brands, and they cultivate this.
I say this, partly because of a new recognition of what it should mean to be "famous." But partly because I'm sick of seeing no talent fucks all over the tabloids.
Remember when Music TeleVision played music? Remember when Disney was for kids? Remember when sex was an adult pastime, and not a Nickelodeon selling point? Remember when having eight ten-year-old's sing for sixty hours a week was slave labor?
I do.
But today it's just good television.
It's just good marketing.
It's just good business.
It's the whole shitty business. I've turned on my TV for three weeks in the last six months. Seriously, I just turned it back on, and in three weeks I have had six years worth of Christmas requests. Every single commercial is a must have. My boy has no idea anymore what to do with himself with the TV turned off.
"Well, until I can watch TV, what do I do?"
"What did you do before we had TV?"
"Play."
"There ya go."
"But, am I allowed to watch TV yet?"
"No."
"I'm calling the police."
"Thankfully, they haven't legislated television rights yet, so I'm totally within my legal rights to not let you watch TV."
I wonder what the Situation would have to say on the subject.
First, he'd probably take off his shirt (if he was wearing one in the first place). Then he'd drink all my liquor. Then he'd explain that New Jersey has the greatest beaches in the world. And then I'd kick his faggot ass out, and go to the bar, and hang with real people, in Havasu, a place that can and will piss all over the Jersey Shore every chance it gets.
Because we're real. We work. We have kids. We (in our case) are fighting to get recognized. And we're not real sympathetic to a bunch of over-privileged cunts who don't deserve a free drink, let alone twenty-four hour news coverage....
"The Situation" is a seriously over-blown situation in-and-of-himself. First off, what the fuck is wrong with his chest? Apparently, there's something constantly on fire right there, because he can't ever have a shirt covering it. Every single shot has him holding the clothing away from him. I'm not exactly sure who told him to take his shirt off, I just know that the invisible person seems to be everywhere he is, since I can't find a single shot of him without him grinning like he has down syndrome with his shirt hiked up like anyone gives half a fuck who the hell he is, or what he has under his wife beater (and in his case, yes, it is a wife beater. I lived in Jersey long enough, and knew enough Italians to say - Mike Mr Situation will smack the shit out of his women, because he doesn't have the manly organs to keep them without violence).
But that's beside the point.
Who the hell is Snooki? And why do I know who she is?
Furthermore, who the fuck is Kim Kardashian, and why in the name of the sweet little innocent baby Jesus should I give one shit in twenty million who, how, or what she's fucking?
These are not real people, they're caricatures of people. They're manikins. They exist solely for our sick, twisted fascination with them. They are not real, like the Barbie Doll is not real. They fornicate like people, they marry like people, they even walk and talk like human beings, but they are not people. They are brands, and they cultivate this.
I say this, partly because of a new recognition of what it should mean to be "famous." But partly because I'm sick of seeing no talent fucks all over the tabloids.
Remember when Music TeleVision played music? Remember when Disney was for kids? Remember when sex was an adult pastime, and not a Nickelodeon selling point? Remember when having eight ten-year-old's sing for sixty hours a week was slave labor?
I do.
But today it's just good television.
It's just good marketing.
It's just good business.
It's the whole shitty business. I've turned on my TV for three weeks in the last six months. Seriously, I just turned it back on, and in three weeks I have had six years worth of Christmas requests. Every single commercial is a must have. My boy has no idea anymore what to do with himself with the TV turned off.
"Well, until I can watch TV, what do I do?"
"What did you do before we had TV?"
"Play."
"There ya go."
"But, am I allowed to watch TV yet?"
"No."
"I'm calling the police."
"Thankfully, they haven't legislated television rights yet, so I'm totally within my legal rights to not let you watch TV."
I wonder what the Situation would have to say on the subject.
First, he'd probably take off his shirt (if he was wearing one in the first place). Then he'd drink all my liquor. Then he'd explain that New Jersey has the greatest beaches in the world. And then I'd kick his faggot ass out, and go to the bar, and hang with real people, in Havasu, a place that can and will piss all over the Jersey Shore every chance it gets.
Because we're real. We work. We have kids. We (in our case) are fighting to get recognized. And we're not real sympathetic to a bunch of over-privileged cunts who don't deserve a free drink, let alone twenty-four hour news coverage....
Oh, please let me be the first to say, "AMEN, brother ..."
ReplyDeleteFunny, because not long ago I asked my 14 year old daughter "Hey, do you know what the "M" in MTV stands for?"
And she actually had to pause for a minute to think of it. She got the right answer, but, point made. Where exactly IS the music????
I so do NOT get the appeal of these shows and their self manufactured "celebrities". Keeping up with the Kardashians??? WTF is there to keep up WITH? They're stupid, self involved, self indulged, and generally embarrassing (to themselves and others). Uhm, give me a minute to ramp up my "A Game" and let's hope I can "keep up" with all THAT.
I've never seen a full episode of Jersey Shore, but what I've seen completely validates your point. Please, please, please tell me their 15 minutes of fame is nearly over ...
WHEW! I'm glad you got that off my chest for me ;-)
PMT