Monday, May 19, 2014

It's here...

RL: *pssst* Over here! I have something to show you. It's... *looks over his shoulder* Big, and massive, and huge (and those are all the same thing, really). You wanna know what it is? You wanna see it, right? Okay, let me just reach down here and take it out...
It's not what you thought it was, was it?

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the new face of Outpost Season One. Available as of today as a paperback or ebook, for the exceptionally low price of $3.99. If you're wondering why you paid less for the Box Set (which is the same thing, actually) it's because you got a great fucking deal, Homes, when we were releasing Season Two. If you're nearly weeping at the injustice of it all: Don't Worry.
Part Two:
We are now offering review copies of Outpost One to anyone (literally, I offered one to the homeless guy on my way into work today) in exchange for honest reviews (pan us, praise us, we don't care, just be honest). If you purchased Outpost One but not Two (which was a very silly decision if you actually made it) we would be happy to offer you Season Two free of charge in exchange for an honest review. If you are a Super Fan (and you all know who you are) you have earned the Platinum Package (which does not, unfortunately, guarantee a happy ending) and we'd love to send you advanced copies of Outpost Three (which is in production but should be coming soon - to you, first, months before its actual release).
And one more little teaser for you: The new face of Outpost One is only the first in an entire new roll out of the Outpost franchise, culminating in the release of Outpost Three and something very special we're working on. A small off-shoot project that exists within the Outpost Universe.
It's called: "Phillip Craig: #1"...

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Big Things!

RL: Hey everyone! Big...
TK: Huge.
RL: What?
TK: Not big, huge.
RL: What's the difference?
TK: The scope. Big is... *shrugs* but huge is massive.
RL: So 'huge' and 'massive' are the same thing?
TK: Roughly.
RL: But 'huge' and 'massive' and 'big' are different?
TK: Considerably.
RL: Really? Because I'm pretty sure if I looked them all up in a thesaurus they're fucking synonyms.
TK: Look, I'm not trying to get into a semantic argument...
RL: That's exactly what you're doing. You're arguing whether or not 'big' is the same as 'massive' or 'huge' when they're exactly the same. And you're interrupting my big...
TK: Huge.
RL: For fuck's... Really?
TK: Just tell them.
RL: Tell them what?
TK: What you were going to say. Just say it.
RL: I'm trying to fucking say it, but you keep interrupting me.
TK: Who's interrupting you? I just said 'huge.'"
RL: When I was talking.
TK: Only because you were saying it wrong.
RL: Fuck it. You tell them.
TK: But it's your announcement. That's what you called it.
RL: Then I'm calling it 'big.'"
TK: I'm just saying, if you'd spent the fucking money on it, you'd call it 'huge' not 'big.'"
RL: Technically I did, it's a joint account!
TK: Tell that to my fucking wife!
RL: Are you done? Because I really feel like we should make the announcement already.
TK: Who's stopping you?
RL: *sighs* Alright everyone. There's...
TK: Huge...
RL: ...things coming from the Brothers Finn. Keep your eyes on this space (you looked away! Don't do that!) for the new roll out.
TK: It took you that long to say that?
RL: You really need to air this shit publicly, don't you...?

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Cockney's VS Zombies - Movie Review

As Outpost Season Two nears its explosive season finale, all of us at Finnean Nilsen Projects have been working overtime to ensure the season is unveiled flawlessly. Couple that with interviews for Terror4Fun, DrunkenZombie, Historical Tapestry and Historical Fiction Obsessed (some being released in the near future - we'll update links as they arrive) and we've been working our gifted little fingers to the bone trying to keep the world in blissful zombie awesomeness.
But every once in a while you have to neglect to tell your friends and family that you have a night off, put the kids to bed early, pour yourself a ridiculously generous adult beverage, and catch a flick. Which leads me to:
Let's be realistic, here. With a name like this there were only ever two possibilities:
1. It was going to suck more balls than a pitching machine, or:
2. It was going to renew my faith in humanity, specifically its ability to make a halfway decent movie (as Hollywood is currently incapable of doing). 
First of all (and this has almost no bearing on the plot of the film) I'm pretty sure Michelle Ryan is my soul mate. When she came on the screen I had to run and get a fire extinguisher to ensure my TV didn't melt. In HD she was almost too much, and I thought my eyes might start bleeding. I'm sorry, Billie Piper, but you are no longer the sole temptation for me to rescind my American citizenship and return to the Old Country. Michelle, if you're reading this, call me. No, scratch that: Marry me. I'm a good cook, I'm (mostly) monogamous and I even tied my own shoes last week (my mother was very proud).
As far as the movie goes (just look at her! She's like an angel, dressed in black leather, hanging off of a trolley car, shooting zombies...) its nearly non-stop profanity, extreme violence and gore, and almost unintelligible dialogue has moved this into one of my all-time favorite British films. But the most important thing I look for in any zombie movie is, does it do anything unique? 
That's where Cockneys VS Zombies actually, amazingly and shockingly for the title and premise, succeeds. There's two or three really original ideas, many of them almost treated as throwaway scenes but they make the movie. Alan Ford plays himself in yet another role, and once again he's perfect for the part. Harry Treadaway and Rasmus Hardiker have good chemistry as the brother team trying to keep everyone alive and in the money, Ashley Thomas provides probably the best scene in the entire movie, Georgia King is the cutest thing in her flowered blouse you'll ever see tied to a pole, and if you don't think you could ever be turned on by an 89 year old woman, wait til you see Honor Blackman sporting an AK and mowing down the undead.
All in all, this is a movie I'll be watching again. And did I mention Michelle Ryan wearing leather (seriously, I'm on my knees right now singing Marry Me from Train...)?

Friday, January 24, 2014

Outpost Season Two

Coming January 30th...

Byron Sutherland didn’t want to fucking die.
He knew this instinctively, without the necessity of it being taught.
Byron wasn’t a bad guy, his only real problem was he didn’t like prison. Well, his first problem had been that he didn’t like jail. So, when he found himself there for the first time, he left. 
It was only logical; he told the judge when they found him. This was America, in America if you ended up in a place you didn’t like, you found a way out. The judge said he didn’t see it that way. He said what Byron really needed was two years in prison, to give him some perspective on how America was a nation of laws; and that if you didn’t respect those laws, you couldn’t plan on them respecting you back.
Byron thought about trying to adjust to prison, but it just wouldn’t take. So, he left that, too. 
It was a mistake, he had sworn when they dragged him back in front of the judge.  He had never heard of this Byron Sutherland guy. His name was Tom Raskin and he was a real estate developer who did not like being treated like a criminal. And, if they wouldn’t drop the charges, his lawyer was already drafting the lawsuit. 
But they didn’t buy it. They knew it was him. By some marvel of modern investigation, they had no doubt at all.
Ten years, Maximum Security.
That really put a fucking cramp on him for the four and a half months until he crawled his way out of that hell hole. Made it six months on stolen identification and scams that paid cash. Until some douche bag cop decided to flash his blues just because Byron had been coked out of his mind for a week and half and couldn’t remember what side of the road he was supposed to drive on – “Is it their right or my right?”
It was a misunderstanding, he explained when they finally spiked his tires.  He was fully planning on sobering up once he got where he was going. Even though he had no idea how to get there. But he wasn’t worried: He figured he’d know Tijuana when he saw it. 
But they wouldn’t listen. The three county high speed chase had royally pissed them off.  And if that hadn’t done it, the State Police car that had crashed into a pole and exploded into flames—killing both troopers inside—had made them completely unreasonable.
They didn’t even offer him a plea this time, which he thought was probably unconstitutional. Instead, in under an hour he was found guilty, given life, and stuck on a bus heading for D-Block, Brennick Maximum Security Prison.
Byron jumped back as another zombie threw itself at the bars to his cell. Gnashing its teeth. Trying to get through the thick steel and at Byron and his cellmate. Trying to get to food.

Behind him, his cellmate, Vince Stone, said, “Buddy, if you’ve got another break out in you, now would be the time.”

Monday, January 6, 2014


From Finnean Nilsen Projects! We're very proud to announce that shooting finished on Outpost Season Two today! So, we're doing what we do best: Getting fucking hammered.
But, tomorrow we'll wake up slightly reduced versions of ourselves, and get to work on the final leg of a journey that is long, sordid and somewhat interesting. A little overview of how this process happened, where it goes from here, and then... I forgot what, but I'm sure it was brilliant...
Outpost Season Two took three months to write originally. At a certain point, it became obvious to us that it was not the right way to go with either the series, or the season. We halted production completely. Spent no less than six months rewriting it in its entirety. And have finally finished the season the way it should be.
But that doesn't mean the original is lost to the ages. When Season Two has been fully released, we will be releasing the Season Two Box Set - which will include the entire first draft!
It will also include tons of special content - as usual.
Now, to where it goes from here:
Season Two has been passed to our incredible editing staff, where it is currently being polished into a gem like the world has never seen before (since our last book came back, anyway). Covers will need to be made for each of the eight individual episodes. And then another for the Box Set. The books have to be type set. They'll be copy edited. And finally, every Thursday beginning January 30th will see a new, original episode of Outpost Season Two...
We'll keep you updated as each new cover is designed and each episode is released. Until then, we're drinking our asses off tonight, because we don't foresee a hell of a lot of sleeping in the future!
- The Brothers Finn